? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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