note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize