im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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