Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
