Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
