You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
