Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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