no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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