idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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