Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
