Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Randomize
