The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize