I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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