Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
