we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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