that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
