Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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