it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
