pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize