there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
