he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
