Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
