If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
