Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My breasts were aching with rage.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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