We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
