i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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