pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
