i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
