You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
