Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
