This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I've blown a few things in my day
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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