Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
