I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
