Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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