i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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