After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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