Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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