lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
