if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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