You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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