I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
