By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
