You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
