Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
