Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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