I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize