it wasn't lemon gatorade
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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