Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
