I'm really into asian looking animals
My liver just broke up with me...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize