I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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