I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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