It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
