we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
