a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
