I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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