she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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