At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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