bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
