oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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