i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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