well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
